[ Topic blagues ] Pour les blagues ou les dernières conneries du web

[Ak2Spawn]

C'veut dire quoi AFLB ?

[Rom1]

http://www.aflb.com/index.php?page=association.php

:??:

[Ak2Spawn]

Merci, vive google hein ?

[Rom1]

Merci, vive google hein ? [/quotemsg]

[:dark-jedi:2] Ben vi, alors pourquoi tu poses la question.

[Schtroumphy]

C'est assez ressemblant

Désolé :sweat:[/quotemsg]

j'aime bien la plaisanterie mais à une certaine limite... mesure tes mots s'il te plait

[Ak2Spawn]

Bah pour que tu ne le prenne pas mal j'ai placé le petit désolé + :sweat: pour que tu le prenne au second degrès, je ne direrais pas ça et de plus je ne te connais très peu par l'intermediaire de la grande toile .

[mota]

oh c'est quoi ça?

Votre score est de : 484

Vous faites partie des Trainees

[/quotemsg]

Ah, t'es une trainée, j'le savais [:lowskill:7]

[Schtroumphy]

Ah, t'es une trainée, j'le savais [:lowskill:7][/quotemsg]

momo apprend à lire quand je post! crotte la!

[dPm]

Votre score est de : 980

Vous faites partie des Trainees

pourtant je crois à la Force !

[Greaver]

Bon, je recherche un tres vieux truc qui est passé il y a longtemps, une simple image de formule 1 avec un mec qui faisait des vroum vroum avec la bouche derriere...histoire de le mettre en sonnerie sur mon portable [:666]

Vous auriez pas l'url dans un coin par hasard?

[Bugs__Bunny]

Cherche ici tu trouveras peut-être ton bonheur

[Greaver]

Merci j'ai trouvé

http://www.kamazutra.be/F1/

[darck]

Votre score est de : 440

Vous faites partie des Trainees

Mouais... Faudra encore bosser un peu pour faire un bon geek, hmm ? ;-)

[Small]

http://www.kamazutra.be/mgs3/

je sais c'est nul :sweat:

[K4b4L]

http://www.kamazutra.be/mgs3/

je sais c'est nul :sweat:[/quotemsg]

Effectivement ! :sweat:

[patapouf]

http://www.kamazutra.be/owned/

celle la elle est trop bonne par contre

[Arcanos]

En anglais mais bien fendar:

Secret Emails Between Sauron and the Nine

(Details taken from both, film and books).

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Witch-king & Co.: great opportunity here!

Interrogation of Gollum reveals One Ring is in Shire

(see attached jpg. map). Apparently held by hobbit

with last name of Baggins. Hobbits are verry short and

not known to carry weapons. Piece of orc cake for you

guys. Ride forth; grab the Baggins AND the Ring. Time

to earn your keep. End-of-year bonus could be big!"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Oh Dark Lord, the magnificent. Can't find the Shire,

so went to Saruman for directions. He said your map

was not to scale. Shire turns out to be a verrry long

way away. How come we're just learning this now?

Expect delay in OneRing project. Respectfully, the

Nine."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Tell me you didn't mention the Ring to Saruman! RE

expected delay in project: I don't think so. Ride

faster."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Great Master of Darkness, we did NOT tell Saruman

about the Ring. Made up story about losing one of the

nine rings while on vacation in those parts. Quite

sure he bought it. Will do best to ride faster.

Saruman great in Isengard chatroom, you should check

it out."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Have hacked site of Isengard chatroom. Feel pleased.

Let me know when you reach Shire."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Oh great Flaming Eye, stopped off at Bree for well

deserved brewskies. Met kewl guy, Bill Ferny, who says

Shire not far off. Also says Shire has 'killer weed,'

so maybe hobbits will all be dead when we arrive .

Hope weed doesn't try to kill us. Looking forward to

big bonus."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Get to the Shire, NOW! See attached artist's

impression of Baggins."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Finally reached Shire. Hobbits still alive. No sign

of lethal weed. One hobbit said Baggins and pals moved

to suburb called Buckleberry, so we headed that way.

Could have sworn we saw some hobbits matching

description, but were scared off by elves. Could have

sworn I felt power of the Ring. Wraith No.5 thinks he

lost his ring in Bree. Do you have another one?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"No I don't have another one. Nine freaking rings for

men, not ten! Tell No.5 to go back and find it. Better

take three of you with him so he doesn't get lost

himself! Sheesh."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Hobbits escaped us by going cross-country. Hope rest

of the Nine don't take too long looking for No.5's

ring in Bree. Thought we would outsmart hobbits and

cut them off. Thwarted by mushroom farmer because he

had very mean dogs NOT ON LEASHES. Maybe dogs will eat

hobbits and we'll just wait to dig through their poop

for One Ring. We'll wash it good, so don't worry."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Witch-king & Co.: Your mid-year reviews are coming up

and I can tell you that it's not looking good.

Inability (or unwillingness) to throw down with

farmer's dogs not impressive. Please show more

initiative. Forget about dog-poop idea. Proceed to

Buckleberry."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Almost got 'em, Boss, but they took the ferry and

wouldn't send the boat back. Have to go long way

around. BTW, Buckleberry and Brandywine River not on

your map, so have to ask for directions a lot.

Probably an oversight on your part. Detachment to Bree

still hasn't returned. Think that WE should get good

reviews and Ringwraiths in Bree should be punished,

because I'll bet you they are drinking lots of

brewskies while we do all the hard work. Hugs."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"(Sigh). I've freed Gollum in the unlikely, but not

impossible, case that you cannot fulfill your mission.

He seems very dedicated to finding the Ring. Consider

this as competition for the year-end bonus."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Found 'em, Boss. Or at least we thought we found

them. Busted up their hiding place real good, but they

escaped into Old Forest, which is very scary. We would

have gone in after them, but locals sounded incredible

fire alarm. Took a vote and decided to head to Bree,

wait for hobbits."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"You took a vote?! (Sigh). Fine, whatever."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Now in Bree, but rest of Black Riders not here.

Barkeep wants us to pay their tab. Pal Bill Ferny said

homeys are retracing their steps to see if No.5's ring

fell off on way from Isengard. Rented great room with

view. Expense request enclosed."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"2,000 farthings for 'Dwarf massage'?"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Hobbits in the building! One Ring confirmed, as

hobbit called Underhill disappeared in bar. Guess you

were wrong about the name Baggins. Attack on their

room planned for midnight! Wish us luck."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Good going, team. FYI: 'Underhill' probably an

alias."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Got 'em, Boss. Or, well, we thought we did. Entered

room where they were staying and saw four beds with

what seemed like hobbits sleeping. You should have

seen us tear into them! For 30 minutes of what can

only be described as a very impressive Ringwraith

melee, we slashed and hacked and completely trashed

the hobbits' room. But we were tricked, because the

figures were only wooden bolsters underneath the

covers. So me and the boys went to the rest of the

hobbit suites and, let me tell you, ain't no hobbits

going to lodging at the inn for quite a long time."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"RE: Attempt to kill hobbits at Bree.

I understand your explanation that hobbits were not in

room they rented. Am not mollified by your apparent

pride in spending half an hour smashing bolsters and

generally trashing that part of the inn.

You nitwits!

Now listen to me carefully: Scare off all horses and

ponies in Bree, then watch for hobbits to flee on

foot. Should be a no-brainer, even for you. Any word

on rest of the Nine?"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Horses scattered like you said, Boss, except for

Ferny's pony, which is nearly dead anyway. Off to find

rest of the Nine. Wish us luck."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"I said watch the road, you twits, not search for the

other Nazgul!"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Right you are, Boss. We five are plenty for the job.

I guess we'll get the others' bonuses, ha ha. Anyway,

turns out the hobbits have joined forces with a

Ranger, named Strider. Job suddenly got harder. They

also bought Ferny's pony; Bill got hit with apple from

one of the hobbits, but lived. He said they went

cross-country, which means we'll just have to hope

they rejoin the road up ahead. Thoughts?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Thoughts? Yes, try following them. On second thought,

we wouldn't want you to get lost in the wild, would

we? I mean, what is the deal with you guys? Instead,

proceed to Weathertop ... yes, it's on the map and

wait for them. Don't screw up this time!"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Went to Weathertop, like you said, Boss. You didn't

say a wizard lives there! It was Gandalf, the one you

loathe. You would be so proud of us. All five of us

ragged on him until he started flashing fire from his

magic wand, or whatever that thing is. Boss, you're

going to love this: We all rushed him and he ran like

a frightened rabbit. Am now in pursuit! Wish us luck."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"No, you idiots! It's a diversion. Get back to

Weathertop and wait for hobbits."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Returned to Weathertop, like you said, Boss. But

hobbits and Ranger already there. Attack planned for

midnight, even though still missing four homeys. Go

us!"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Yeah, go you. This is a results-oriented project,

boys. Just bring It back. That's all I'm asking. No

hostages, nothing. Let them all live for all I care.

Good luck. There, I said it."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"We're really on track with the project, Boss! Raided

Weathertop camp. We had 'em. Check this out: No.2

stabbed the one carrying the Ring! Unfortunately, the

hobbit had Swiss army knife and stabbed No.2 in left

big toe. Didn't you say they were unarmed? We have to

communicate more. Then Ranger started setting us on

fire. Most of us able to roll on ground and save most

of multi-layered robes, but I'm afraid No.6 and No. 8

are completely naked. Believe hobbits and Ranger

escaped. No.9 says he lost his ring at Weathertop. Now

I know what you're thinking, but you would be wrong.

We're ALL going back to find his ring. Thanks for

wishing us luck, because it sure worked! (Group hug).

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Oh venerated mother of Morgoth! Why? What have I done

to deserve this? Tell me, please.

OK, the Ringbearer Thief has been stabbed. That's

good. Think positive thoughts.

Now, Witch-king, I want you to forget about No.9's

ring. Go after the Hobbits, NOW. They're bound for

Rivendale for sure."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Oops, already went to Weathertop (had problems

getting email today, think you should check the modem

bank, or server, or something). Good news. The rest of

the Nine showed up. Turns out No.5 had his ring in one

of the folds of his cloak all this time. I guess he's

getting a bad review, right? Also found No.9's ring,

even though you don't seem to care about it. Didn't

tell No.9 you have adopted that position. Hope you

care about my ring, still.

Now going after hobbits with full speed. "Ringbearer

Thief" (is this his REAL name?) should be catatonic by

now from No.2's successful attack. No.2 wants to know

if he gets extra bonus, and isn't sure he signed up

for Mordor's HMO on re-enrollment week. His big toe is

really looking bad. Thoughts?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"No.1, oh dear Witch-king. Apparently I have failed as

a manager to sufficiently convey the importance of the

OneRing project. To wit: Your sole purpose is to find

the One Ring. Then lay your hands upon it. Do not put

it on! Keep it safe on your journey back to Mordor.

Then give it to me. That's it. All the personnel

concerns you have mentioned will be taken care of, as

long as you bring It back. Got that? Comprende? Dost

thou fathom?"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"You're right as always, Boss. The One Ring. Got ya

loud and clear.

Uh, OK, sorry it's been a week since last email. We

like nearly had him at the Ford, Rivendale. I mean, we

were really, really close. Even though we had to mess

with an elvish warrior and chase after an incredibly

fast horse carrying Ringbearer, we were on it. Dude,

there was this flood you wouldn't imagine, with scary

horse things, and our own horses just freaked, so

you'll have to blame the horses, which drowned. Since

none of us can swim, and the flood was so terrible,

all of us are now buck naked, although I still have my

crown. No one lost their ring, which is a plus,

right?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"(Sigh). This is not happening. Feared Nazgul in a

pig's eye!

You have new orders: Get your butts back to the

office. No, wait, you'll just get lost on the way. I'm

sending my nine foul beasts of the air to fetch you."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Flying first class, Boss! This is way better than

riding horses. Thanks for the gesture. We'll be able

to get that Ring on Air Mordor, if you would just give

us another chance. Please?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"After lengthy consideration, have decided against my

better judgement to send the Nine out again to find

the Ring. Yes, you will be flying Air Mordor this

time. Make sure the beasts eat some grass for

roughage, damnit."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Back in first class, Boss. Thanks for the reprieve!"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Hobbits reported in Moria. Company now numbering

nine. How quaint. Balrog will get them. Then orcs will

bring out Ring. Watch the eastern exit."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Moria not on map, much less east exit. Asked elves in

Lothlorien for directions, but no help there. Took a

vote and will watch Anduin River near Rauros. Wish us

luck!"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"You're going to need it."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Good news, Boss! Found the crew (there's eight, not

nine like you said). Unfortunately, No.3's beast was

shot down by an elf, so expect him to show up all

bedraggled at Black Gate. He lost his key, so you'll

have to let him in. No.2 hasn't been feeding his beast

any grass, and its poop is just horrible! Also, looks

like your orcs joined up with Saruman's brood. They

captured two of the hobbits after killing man of

Gondor. Go orcs. Seems they are heading toward

Isengard, not Mordor. Suggest you contact them and

send reliable map! Lost sight of remaining hobbits.

But rest of company chasing after said orcs, which

means that's where the Ring must be. Regards."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Isengard?! No. Nooo!!! All of you return to

headquarters immediately! Witch-king, you head toward

Isengard and intercept orcs."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Boss, went to Isengard like you said, but had to make

sure beast got enough grass, so unable to overtake

orcs. Someone really trashed Isengard. Don't think

Saruman got the Ring, because otherwise he would have

kept his place from getting hosed, right? Anyway, it

looks like Rohan won their battle with Saruman the

White, who is actually sporting more a tie-dye look

these days."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Mercy! I'll have to wage war to get this Ring back.

You, Witch-king, go out and attack anyone who looks

like they might be wielding One Ring. I'm thinking

King of Rohan, since last time I checked he was

Saruman's cabana boy."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Oh, hi Boss. It's No.2. Bit of bad news. A girl

beheaded Witch-king’s beast. Good news is King of

Rohan's horse killed him. Unlikely he had Ring, like

you said. But real bad news is Witch-king was stabbed

in knee by a hobbit, and then killed by the girl. I

thought we couldn't die, because of the rings you gave

us. Is there something I should know? Oh yeah, you

lost the battle of Pelennor (probably just to fake 'em

out, I'll bet). Anyway, I guess this makes me No.1,

right?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"(Sigh). Sure, you can be No.1, if it makes you happy.

Would you all just circle the skies around Mordor,

like at a really high altitude so you can't be shot

down? That would be just peachy. You Eight can do

that, can't you?"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Did what you said, Boss, flying high. Seems like

7,000 of the enemy are marching toward the home

office. Better back up the database, right?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Finally some good news. The captains of the West are

pushing their luck. One of them probably has the Ring,

but hasn't mastered it. Circle above the Black Gate."

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Great news, Boss! Battle going great. They are

completely surrounded. You're a genius."

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Fools! The One Ring!! It's at Mount Doom! Fly, fly I

tell thee! Fly to Mount Doom and grab the Ring before

it's too late!"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Mount Doom? That's a volcano. Isn't it pretty hot

there?"

Sauron@Mordor.net:

"Go to Mount Doom immediately! The Ring, get the Ring!

Do it!"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"OK, Boss, will do. Is the Ring INSIDE the volcano, or

just near it? Well, I suppose we'll find out when we

get there. Wish us luck!"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Boss, are you there? The volcano is erupting

something fierce. No can find Ring. Can't even sense

its presence. Are you sure it's at Mount Doom?"

Ringwraiths@Mordor.net:

"Hey Boss, did you know that Mordor is crumbling?

Boss?"

[dravenTIGERS]

Je ne suis pas anglophone mais plutôt anglophobe

Donc si vous pouviez mettre globalement de quoi ça traite je vous en serais reconnaissant

[LorDMansoN]

moi mon score :/

Votre fiche de geek

Votre score est de : 1107

Vous faites partie des Reasonable Geeks

Pas mal... Un bon taux de geekitude coule dans vos veines, mais vous êtes encore trop sociable pour faire un bon geek. Débarrassez-vous des quelques amis qui ont l'outrecuidance de vous tirer hors de chez vous. :-p

[K4b4L]

Pas la patience de lire ton truc Arcanos, encore moins de le traduire !

Tu nous a fait un copier/coller du roman de Tolkien ou quoi ?

[dravenTIGERS]

moi mon score :/[/quotemsg]

Tu n'es pas content car ru espérais être un supergeek ou que tu voulais l'être moins ? :??:

Moi perso je prèfère l'être moins car le mot "geek" à une consonnance négative. Tout de suite l'image qu'on s'en fait c'est le gars boutonneux jusqu'aux orteilles, avec des lunette, les cheveux jusqu'au fessier.

[Ak2Spawn]

Tu n'es pas content car ru espérais être un supergeek ou que tu voulais l'être moins ? :??:

Moi perso je prèfère l'être moins car le mot "geek" à une consonnance négative. Tout de suite l'image qu'on s'en fait c'est le gars boutonneux jusqu'aux orteilles, avec des lunette, les cheveux jusqu'au fessier. [/quotemsg]

Non, Chico n'est pas un geek

Desolé :sweat: ²

[Greaver]

Ba les cheveux de chico ils descendent pas, ils montent. [:spamafote]

[BeBer007]

Tu n'es pas content car ru espérais être un supergeek ou que tu voulais l'être moins ? :??:

Moi perso je prèfère l'être moins car le mot "geek" à une consonnance négative. Tout de suite l'image qu'on s'en fait c'est le gars boutonneux jusqu'aux orteilles, avec des lunette, les cheveux jusqu'au fessier. [/quotemsg]

J'appellerais ça plutôt un nerd, pour moi personnellement un geek n'a pas "vraiment" une consonnance négative...

[LorDMansoN]

Tu n'es pas content car ru espérais être un supergeek ou que tu voulais l'être moins ? :??:

Moi perso je prèfère l'être moins car le mot "geek" à une consonnance négative. Tout de suite l'image qu'on s'en fait c'est le gars boutonneux jusqu'aux orteilles, avec des lunette, les cheveux jusqu'au fessier. [/quotemsg]

Je veux avoir moin, je veux avoir 600 [:666]